One thousand one…

It makes me sad to hear people complain first thing in the morning.

Yesterday, at a 6 am aerobics class, I listened as the other attendees made small talk before the instructor arrived.

“I hate daylight savings time,” one woman barked.

“Why is it so cold in here?” complained another.

“I hope she does a new routine today,” grumbled a third.

As I said, it was 6:00 in the morning. How could things so bad that already, already they felt moved to gripe and whine and spread negativity?

I felt so sorry for these women. I wanted to touch their arms and tell them that everything was going to be ok. “You’re alive. You’re physically healthy enough to take an aerobics class. You’re mentally aware enough to clothe yourself, drive yourself to the gym, and make exercise a part of your day. Isn’t that enough?”

Of course, it might have been fear talking. Maybe these women felt intimidated by the class. Maybe they were nervous about looking silly or botching the dance moves—it only takes a second for a great mood to deteriorate when we’re scared.

I get edgy and curt when I’m worried about something—a big run, skiing in unfamiliar terrain, routefinding. When it’s over—when everyone’s standing at the car sweaty and safe and happy—I’m fine; the relief makes me downright giddy. But before the starting gun goes off, I’m a wreck.

I felt wonderful yesterday, though—happy and calm and able to focus on the good. Even when work felt overwhelming by 9:30 am, I was able to take deep breaths and keep things in perspective, remembering that no matter how stressful work feels, I have a wonderful family, a kind and loving husband, two dogs who delight me, and a very, very good life. I chose to remain calm and positive; I felt totally in control.

Then I got an email from a friend with some unwelcome news, and at once I felt everything spinning away from me—like I was physically losing my grip.

This took less than 30 seconds.

But yesterday, for the first time I can remember, I caught myself.

I reminded myself that my response was fear-based—fear of something that hadn’t even happened yet.

It was fear masquerading as protection—fear that saw me surrounding myself with imaginary couch cushions, keeping people out.

It was a clinging fear that, after a decade and a half of shielding me from unseen amorphous dangers, had done nothing but strip me of experiences and relationships.

It was getting me nowhere; it was time to set it free and take some chances,

This took less than 30 seconds, too.

Sometimes that’s all it takes.

A Doing Post

I write two types of posts: doing posts and feeling posts. Doing posts come together quickly, usually in list form. They comprise images and surface-level thoughts; they’re track listings. Feeling posts are harder to write. They contain equal parts whining, complaining, guilt, and fear; they’re the self-indulgent liner notes (“I’d like to thank God and my fans, you know who you are…”).

This is a doing post to fill you in on what’s been happening at the compound lately.

1. Brad took top 5 racing in his new motocross class. That’s a very big deal (it's a super competitive class), and despite my discomfort with the sport (too dangerous!), I’m very happy for him.

2. We found out that Red has hip dysplasia and arthritis. Even though that news was very, very sad, we were grateful to learn that we can manage his pain and keep him happy. In fact, since putting Red on a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory (Deramaxx, which doesn’t hurt his liver or tummy), he’s shifted from a forlorn, mopey, snappy dingo to the sweet, smiley, cuddly animal we remember. We also tried acupuncture to treat his pain, but despite the very skilled efforts of the kindest vet in the world, Red just didn’t enjoy being poked with needles. In fact, he was so distraught he delivered a dose of Heeler acupuncture to Brad’s face.

If you look closely, you can see where Red acupunctured Brad. He felt very guilty and didn't want to leave the safe zone between couch and wall (where no one could get at him with a needle). It's ok, Red—no more acupuncture for you.

3. Arnold officially became a Good Dog. After six years of sweet, goofy, all-id living, Arnie and I went to Basic Dog Training (he had to learn the basics if he is to become a therapy dog). It was good for both of us—he had fun and I learned all the rules I’ve been ignoring. He even graduated first in his class! (He was the only dog there.) It was wonderful to see how proud Arnie was on graduation day. We’re proud, too. Our big golden horse will make a wonderful therapy dog.

If you look closely, you'll see that the instructor crossed out "Puppy" to write "Basic." Yes, this class is usually intended for puppies--dogs who are 6-months old, not 6-years old. I don't mind, though. We're thrilled for our little Spicolli.

See the resemblance?

4. I bought this Anna Maria Horner pattern—the Empire Evening Dress.

It reminds me of Grateful Dead hippie garb, which I love, as well as my favorite dress of all time: J. Crew’s Patchwork Talitha Dress (which debuted about 5 years ago, and cost something like $500, so I never owned it, but I adored it from afar and still look for it on eBay from time to time).


5. I also bought this Anna Maria pattern, a versatile tunic that will work in lightweight and wintry fabrics.

I really like it, but I think the sewing might be a bit over my head, so I’ll work on it here this summer.

6. My first quilt is done! We've been sleeping under it (and the dogs have been sleeping on top if it) every night. I love it, and have pictures to share, but sadly, they're on my camera, and I don't have the download cable with me. They'll show up soon. Also, my second quilt is well underway.

Since I took this photo (with the Dingo for scale), I've made about 20 more blocks, so I think I'm almost ready to sew the top together. I still need to organize the blocks properly, to get the correct color array within each diamond. I also have to choose a backing fabric...I haven't seen anything in our local shops that really wows me for this. Anyone have any suggestions?

That's all for now. Good weekends, all.

A reminder

Driving home from work tonight, in rush hour on I-15, I started to change lanes, moving left while talking on the phone to my mom. Halfway across, a truck that had been in my blind spot loomed suddenly beside me, god, like, inches away. I whipped the steering wheel to the right, over correcting, and felt the back of my car swing wide into the left lane. I forced the wheel back left, and felt the car swing into the right lane.

I don't know what happened after that...my car spun out of control, fully to the right so that I came to a stop facing oncoming traffic. I managed to avoid all the other cars on the road; I hit no one. I drove the rest of the way home gripping the steering wheel and feeling nauseous, but without a scratch.

Man, I'm lucky.

Ok, universe, I get it. It's time to stop complaining and start making things happen.

Now I Talk at You

Let's talk about the Superbowl commercials. As an ad writer, it's my job to find the funniest/most clever spots, and then rip them off. If my work in the next year looks like any of the stuff below, don't say I didn't warn you.

1. Officially it's known as the Budweiser "Fences" spot, but I like to call it: Why I will never eat animals again. Now I want a calf. And a foal.


2. I thought the CareerBuilder ads were all spot on. With unemployment sky high and the country treading economic water, the business of finding a job is serious enough. That's why these light-hearted 30-second spots delighted me so much. Also, they used consumer-generated content (the only ads of the bowl to do so, I believe)! Here's my favorite of the three:


3. I love this spot because it cast several members of the Guest Comedy Troupe. And because it's so like a pre-pro meeting, and in fact every meeting I've ever been to. Plus, the message within the message is a good trick--people are learning without even realizing it.


4. Monster.com also kept the job-hunting reminder light, which was well-advised. Of course I love this spot. A rags to riches storyline, furry animals, a nonsensical leap (asking the viewers to accept a fiddling beaver with no explanation)...it's all there.


5. I thought the Google spot was lovely, right down to the music. How interesting that we could all follow and maybe even identify with the story, told via tools that weren't even invented the last time the Saints played in the Superbowl.


Oh, and here's what I thought about some of the other ads:

1. Budwesier "Book Club" -- Ugh. Reverting to the typical male archetype of dumb, horny, beer swiller? Come on. You can do better.
2. Bridgestone, both spots: Meh. Too reliant on pop culture, plus grossly expensive productions with little purpose. And the "life/wife" thing? Old joke.
3. E-Trade talking babies: I thought they were creepy when they debuted a couple years ago, I think they're creepy now.

Learn your rules boys and girls.

If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep.

A Start

Sartorial satisfaction in the form of a new tunic:


Creative inspiration from Heather Ross's Far Far Away fabric line. Unicorns. Obviously.


Something to look forward to: a trip to the shore with my mom, followed by a journey here for a sewing workshop.

Enjoying the moment: Dinner with a friend. A fire in the stove. To bed at 8:30.The dogs sleeping on my feet.

Finding joy in the unexpected: Arnie in training to be a Therapy Dog. And I'm proud to say that his training is going very, very well. It's been fascinating for me to see how quickly he learns, how he wants to learn--just soaks up information and cues. It seems to make him super happy, too--he wags his tail the whole time we're training. He's going to be a wonderful therapy animal.

A new approach: I called a few schools today and asked about graphic design courses. There are no fashion design or merchandising courses in Utah, so I'll gladly settle for some graphic design coursework to learn how to use the software and some of the basic elements of color, layout, etc. I'm excited to see where it leads.

Dreamtime: I visited the Aga website today and requested a catalog. I've wanted an Aga (in midnight or robin's egg) for years and years. Someday I'll have the kitchen for one. In the meantime, I'll have inspiration.

I Interrupt the Whiny Introspection...

To bring you this reminder, via Natalie Dee, to listen to your messages.